Premarriage
Congratulations...on your decision to enter into the holy covenant of marriage! If Open Door is your church home and you'd like to get married here, read on for more on our premarriage process.
This is an exciting time in your lives and we are happy for you. It is also an important time to talk about expectations. We take our responsibility as a church very seriously in regards to who we will marry. We care about your individual souls as well as your united soul.
There are two main factors that lead to our decision regarding who we can enthusiastically marry: a couple's preparedness for marriage and a demonstrated connectedness to the Open Door community of faith.
Preparedness?
Open Door offers a premarriage process that is required for those who seek to be married at Open Door or by an Open Door Pastor. You'll need to begin this process at least 6-9 months before your desired wedding date for Open Door to make a decision to marry you and provide the emotional and spiritual space you'll need to prepare for marriage.
Connectedness?
Since resources are limited (e.g. time, space, staffing), we are not able to accommodate everyone's wedding needs. Our first priority is to those who are connected to the Open Door community of faith. Our Marriage Application Questionnaire helps us get to know you and determine if we will be able to assist you in this process. If it is determined that Open Door is able to officiate your wedding, then a Pastor will walk you through the necessary process. If the Pastoral staff discerns that a couple needs more time to prepare for marriage, we reserve the right to delay the wedding.
Download the Planning Your Wedding (PDF) guide for an overview of Open Door resources and helpful tools to plan your ceremony.
The Premarriage Process
1. Complete the Marriage Application Questionnaire (PDF). Each of you must complete the questionnaire and then return it to: Marriage Ministry, Church of the Open Door, 9060 Zanzibar Lane North, Maple Grove, MN 55311. We will contact you within two weeks of receiving them.
2. Take the PREPARE inventory (online or by appointment). This inventory measures your strength and growth areas as a couple. You'll walk through the results with a pastor or counselor (3-5 sessions). Fee: $35/couple.
3. Take the Before You Say I Do class. This seven-week class is conducted in a small group setting facilitated by married couples who are committed to helping build strong marriages. Here you will explore God’s design for marriage, learn communication and conflict resolution skills, how to avoid those parts of daily living that can sideswipe marriages and gain a true view of God’s amazing gift of sex. Cost: $100/couple.
4. Meet with your marrying Pastor to plan your wedding ceremony (1-2 sessions).
If you have any questions regarding the premarriage process, e-mail Alissa or call ext 1905.
Sexual Abstinence
The Open Door Pastors and community of faith care about your spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being. We desire to model and speak truth and grace into the important area of human sexuality. Sexuality is a remarkable God-given gift. Our desire is to help you make lifestyle decisions that honor God and protect you from the pain and damage that can result when sexual activity takes place before marriage. We also believe there is forgiveness and tremendous healing that can touch our wounded past. This area of our lives is so significant we are committed to offering teaching and guidance that will help you enter a relationship prepared for a life-time of loving, healthy and God-honoring sexual expression.
We ask all couples beginning the premarriage preparation process to abstain from sexual activity until after the wedding ceremony. We believe sexual activity outside the bonds of marriage is sin. It is our desire to see your future marriage have the strongest foundation possible and we believe a chosen period of abstinence can provide a time for re-establishing healthy personal boundaries. This helps restore our hearts and minds to God’s good purposes for the gift of sexuality and prepare us for a lifetime of sexual fidelity.
Statement on Marriage and Sexual Purity
Church of the Open Door believes that marriage is sacred and represents the relationship between Christ and the believer (Ephesians 5:22-33). Therefore, marriage can exist only within the bonds of moral commitment and be sustained in an environment of purity and holiness. The heterosexual union expresses the plan of God for marriage and expresses the nature of God.
Commitment to Separate Living
We ask that all couples in our premarriage process make a commitment to refrain from sexual activity until they are married. In addition, we strongly encourage couples who are living together to seriously consider separate living arrangements until they are married. This is because practically it should make it easier to keep the commitment to abstain sexually until they are married, even though it may be financially beneficial or emotionally appealing not to do so.
